Yummy Yummy Yummy I Got Food in My Gut

Howdy, y'all! Your friendly neighborhood bushy bearded viking icon (or "Vikon," if you want to be lame about it) here, ready to regale you with information on a topic which all of you - but especially the statistically obese Americans out there - hold very dear: food.

And regale wasn't just a random choice of words, mind you - as you can see with the image above, it directly envolves entertainment AND food. But I digress...

The first item I would like to discuss on the topic of tuck is ice cream. I'm starting here for two reasons:

1. It's the item that inspired this posting to begin with, and
2. For all those times your parents griped about you starting with dessert, this is for them.

What can I say? I'm a rebel at heart. Anyhow... recently, my girlfriend and I (who, for reason of anonymity and respect of privacy I will henceforth refer to as "Dawn") found ourselves quite famished. To paraphrase Monty Python, we were sitting about the house, perusing the many outlets of brain rot on television, when we suddenly came over all peckish. So, we curtailed our Walpoling activites, sallied forth, and infiltrated what I was soon to discover to be the best place of purveyance for the negotiation of some frozen dairy comestibles!

What place is this, you ask? What's the difference between one ice cream and the other, you may wonder? Well sit back and behold, as I reveal to you one of the finest institutions for the origination and distribution of premium frozen dairy products. Yes, three simple worlds that, once experienced in the flesh, will change your outlook (and standard of quality) for ice cream forever. Those three words... Cold Stone Creamery.

As we entered this, the holiest of shrines for the consumption of frozen treats, my senses were assaulted by the various smells of the potential ingredients at the assembly counter. They were all lined up, like coup martyrs in a firing squad, behind the insulated plastic window, begging me even still to come behind the counter and devour each one en masse.

Had "Dawn" and her mom not been there, I would have. I'm crazy like that.

The premise behind the eatery and their creations is this: you take an ice cream flavor, mix in three or more items and slap it all in a chocolate-covered waffle bowl. To give you an idea, here's what I had. I started off with Cake Batter ice cream (and yes... it tasted just like yellow cake batter) and they took the ice cream and slapped it onto a flat table. Then they took my ingredients and actually folded it into the ice cream on the table, as opposed to dumping the ice cream and ingredients into a cup and placing it under a mixer. Into my Cake Batter ice cream I had mixed in white chocolate chips, honey and pieces of yellow cake. Once the mixing was done, they rolled it into a nice clean ball and placed it into the chocolate-covered waffle bowl, which was, in turn, placed inside a styrofoam bowl to prevent spillage.Premium ice cream with unique flavor options, with a flavor that sends your tastes buds into overdrive... the cost? $3.50 pre-tax. Tree Fitty. Needless to say, it was love at first sight - and I strongly recommend that you find the outlet of Cold Stone Creamery nearest you and lay down your hard earned $3.50 for a danged delightful dairy delicacy.

Other food items that have recently grabbed my attention...

The Panini is Mightier Than the Sword - I found myself a tad famished the other day while at home, and decided to check out The Hub, a local Internet/Cyber Café that happens to be right beside my apartment complex. As I entered their humble hub, their lair of LAN, my senses were assaulted with the smell of... Cat-5 cable - I could tell already that they specialize more on the Internet and less on the Café. But I was already there, so I figured, "What the Hell... a panino and a drink can't be too bad."

Oddly enough, the panino sucked balls. However... I tried a few other things they had on the menu.

Bawls - I had heard about this drink from some of my internet associates, yet could not find any place down south to serve this wonderful energy drink. I've had my share of energy drinks... from the original Jolt Cola to Josta straight on down to Rockstar... and this one was one of my favorites thus far. The one thing that impressed me the most was the quantity - they actually fill the bottle straight up to the cap. For most people, this is no big deal; for someone like me, who drinks so much the waitress' tip is primarily determined on whether or not s/he can keep up with me, it's a deal clincher.

Boylan Root Beer - Along those same lines... anyone who knows me knows I am a huge fan of Root Beer. Almost a connoisseur, if you will. Truth be told, it's the only soda I drink regularly; otherwise I am a sweet tea man. Now ordinarily, I stick with a simple classic - Barq's. It has a nice malty taste to it that I rather enjoy. On occasion, I'll allow an A&W's as a substitution; while not as thick as Barq's, it has a lighter, cleaner taste. And I've certainly fallen victim to some horrible swill passed off as "Root Beer." Boylan's, however, was a good mix of both - the maltiness of Barq's that I enjoy with the light taste of A&W's. And a noticable taste difference confirmed my suspicions that they actually use cane sugar instead of corn syrup to "sweeten the deal."

Well... as the string of escapades that I call my life continue, so, in turn, shall my eating. And, as I continue to live, learn and lunch, I shall also continue to post. Until then, this is "Mighty Bob" saying good night and enjoy the "British Urinal."